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How should both parties in a marriage get along in order to last a lifetime? In fact, getting along in a marriage is no different from getting along with friends. The way you get along with friends is the same way you get along with your partner. If you can have falling outs and grow distant with friends, the same can happen with your partner. The reason why it's easier to have falling outs with friends and more difficult with partners is because of that piece of paper, the marriage certificate, and the many bindings that come with it. Sometimes, it's too troublesome to think about breaking it apart, so you calm down, interact with each other, and move on.

However, you should know that this is a man-made binding and its essence is no different. Why is the divorce rate increasing and the marriage rate decreasing? Because no one wants that piece of paper anymore. Everyone can support themselves, so why create obstacles for themselves? If the existence of that piece of paper is meant to say "just endure and it will pass," now it's like "so why should I endure?" A new form of marriage has emerged in Japan called "friendship marriage," where two people take care of each other but only have a roommate and friend relationship. If they want to experience raising children, they can use artificial insemination or adoption. Everyone experiences their own lives without interfering with each other.

All of this is enough to show that these emotions and forms are essentially the same. The reason they appear different is because of artificial rules that distort them for the purpose of social management. Therefore, the way people interact with each other is the same, no matter what kind of relationship they have. Speaking of the title, let's talk about the rise of the "phoenix man." It is a dangerous thing for a phoenix man to rise. There is a saying, "Regret teaching a husband to seek a high position." It means that if you always want your husband to achieve great things, once he does, he won't be your husband anymore. Let's take some examples. After becoming successful, the probability of divorce is high for big shots like Wang Shi and Ren Zhengfei. Of course, there are also people like Warren Buffett who have already gone their separate ways but refuse to divorce because of money. This is true for the majority of big shots in China, yes, I dare say the majority. My evaluation is that they are not as good as Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates. They divorce when they want to and divide the money accordingly, no matter how extravagant their lifestyle is. But the fact that they can make their ex-wives the richest women in the world is enough to make up for all the problems. Of course, they are better than Elon Musk. He divorces you and doesn't give you any money.

At this point, you might exclaim, "Men become bad when they have money." No, let me explain the underlying logic to you. The main value of men lies in the amount of wealth they possess. Ordinary people who live their lives peacefully often have little attraction to both sides and have relatively fewer choices in the market. If you pursue a stable marriage, this is actually a kind of luck. Why do women cheat less than men? Especially when women have lower economic status. It's because at that time, a woman's main value lies in her beauty. And we know that beauty reaches its peak at the age when one is suitable for marriage and love, and then gradually declines. So women hardly experience a significant increase in value later on. Isn't that a disadvantage? Not really. Their advantage lies in reaching their peak from the beginning. So even if a woman is not as good, her value will still be higher than that of a slightly worse man. The value of an ordinary woman is always higher than that of an ordinary man. This is the origin of the saying "women pursue men through a veil." But the societal demands on men make it a game where only a few men succeed. The value of most men doesn't increase much, but there is a group of men who have the ability and luck to experience a significant increase in value after marriage. At this point, the value match in the original marriage becomes very mismatched, and the way both parties interact needs to undergo a significant transformation. However, the women who are compatible with them often don't want to adjust their way of interacting significantly, while other women who are in large numbers adapt to the new mode of interaction. They are particularly good at attracting and providing emotional value. These women often have a higher value than the current spouse, which greatly destabilizes the marriage. Not to mention those phoenix men who rely on women to have a career. They are often treated as inferior in their original family environment and endure many insults and contempt from the woman's parents. When they truly become successful phoenixes, they often end up divorcing due to this huge gap.

This is the essence, not a question of whether someone is good or bad, or whether they have morals. In this world, everyone's human nature is the same. Can you imagine a handsome guy who is unaware of his own attractiveness? That's impossible. How others treat him, how can he not know? Does Wu Yanzu not know or does Edison Chen not know? Everyone knows their own value and will measure what kind of treatment they deserve from others. As long as there is sufficient information exchange, no one is a fool. Unless it's like some rural men who lock up their village beauties and don't let them go out. But if she has lived in the city for two years, no matter how moral she is, can she accept staying at home and serving your parents? Everyone will weigh what choices can make their lives better, and some things are triggered by conditions, not related to one's character. For example, a super beautiful woman who happens to come from a "very poor family." Can she learn how to get money from men? She definitely can because she has always gained benefits from others due to their constant ulterior motives since she was young. Even if she is dumb, with continuous practice, she will become much better than an ordinary person. This is a matter of circumstances, not character. The reason why you don't do the same is because your circumstances are different from hers, not because you claim to be more moral. Another example is a handsome and wealthy man. Will he wholeheartedly be with Cinderella? What do you think? Everyone likes handsome and wealthy men, so why would he choose someone less attractive? A man who has become a big shot from scratch, if he didn't rely on women for money but fought through hardships, how could he not be bald and greasy? Would he be like those characters in "Tiny Times," still the same as when he was young while the company has already collapsed?

The reason why novels captivate you is precisely because they satisfy your fantasies and create illusions that contradict reality. So when you understand the essence of human interaction, you will understand many people and many things more deeply by looking at human nature rather than morality. No one is absolutely good or bad. If you put an honest official in an inappropriate position, he will still be harmed. Everything is a matter of circumstances, and once the conditions are met, corresponding situations will be triggered. The only thing you can influence is to trigger certain conditions and not fulfill others. But you can never expect people to do things that are not in line with human nature for a long time. You can never expect that.